


Penis Cake

by Jamaican Princess (Rocquellan)



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blow Jobs, M/M, Out of Character, Sexual Humor, abuse of cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:35:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocquellan/pseuds/Jamaican%20Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who can get away with buying Asami a penis cake but Akihito?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penis Cake

**Author's Note:**

> Written as a belated birthday gift for darkhime88. Happy belated birthday hun, I hope you had a wonderful time^^

Akihito didn’t think his morning could get any worse than today’s, which had become an increasingly regular thought as of late. He trudged back to Asami’s apartment after an all night stake-out that was a total bust, feeling tired and fatigued with sore muscles protesting in his body from hours in awkward positions. His favorite camera and other equipments were nestled snuggly in a backpack strewn across his shoulder and back and no matter how much he wished he could lose the weight, he would never neglect his beloved materials. There were two men he didn’t know stationed by the door, but they didn’t give him any trouble like the last two men who made the mistake of asking him _“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”_ in a condescending tone, eyeing him distastefully from head to toe and stopping him with a hand on his chest. Asami wasn’t too far behind him, close enough to see the exchange and needless to say, that’s the last he ever saw of those two.

These two new guys were smart though, not even glancing his way as he punched in the code for the door and he slipped pass them with a tired greeting.

Leaving his shoes by said door, he trudged towards the bedroom, passing the kitchen as familiar voices could be heard in light conversation.

“He hates sweets, it’s a universal fact.” Kirishima.

Akihito stopped to listen; it’s a rare occasion when he happens upon Asami’s footmen talking about him.

“His cake is always really huge though, even if it is just for show.” Suoh.

Akihito could see both men with their ‘three piece suit’ backs to him while they sipped coffee from a batch they obviously made for themselves. Only they were allowed in Asami’s personal quarters for such personal things, though. They must be on a break.

Kirishima took a sip from his cup before continuing. “It’s always for the guests. Most times he donates it to the local kids’ hospital.”

Suoh nodded. “Sure. When he does allow us, my share has to be really big.”

Kirishima scoffed and Akihito couldn’t put his finger on what exactly he was feeling at seeing the normally two stoic and serious men just…relax. Something warm, he went with, because sometimes its hard to remember that these are men and not mindless drones bent on destroying the world at Asami’s command.

“Think Takaba-san will get him something this year?”

Akihito’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name. What would Kirishima’s response be? To be honest, he now felt really bad for not giving anything physical for Asami’s past two birthdays…well, not the type of ‘physical’ that was anybody else’s business, mind you. Asami was always satisfied and grateful for whatever he got, but now Akihito realized that to everybody else (the few people that mattered), it might seem he wasn’t interested or hadn’t put any effort in Asami’s birthdays.

“He does a lot for him, don’t underestimate the kid.”

Suoh agreed wholeheartedly and Akihito felt something like pride bloom in his chest, making him feel warm all over and in that moment, he considered the men as really close friends.

“And, only he’ll get away with buying Asami-sama a penis cake.”

Akihito’s mouth fell open in shock. “A what?!”

Kirishima and Suoh both turned to face him with equal half smirks on their faces before feigning innocence.

“Oh, Takaba-san, we had no idea you were standing there,” Kirishima answered smugly.

“Hell you didn’t, what the hell did I hear about a penis cake?” Akihito drew closer to the two men, whose decorum changed to stoic business from their earlier relaxed dispositions.

“Well, Takaba-san, only you could ever get away with buying Asami-sama a penis cake.”

“And why would I do that?” Akihito asked miffed.

“Blackmail material.” Kirishima answered, raising his cup to his lips and downing the last of his coffee while Suoh kept his face blank.

Akihito contemplated the idea, because not only would it be _good_ blackmail material, but it would be one of those memorable moments he’d make sure to be framed in his memory and album. Despite Asami’s refusal to take pictures, Akihito always forced the issue in moments he’d like to treasure not just in his heart, but also physically so if something happened he’ll always have proof that this man was very important to him. The problem would be getting Asami to eat it. He bit his lip before asking, “So, where do I get a penis cake?”

*******VF*******

Akihito stuck his head out the door of the back room of the little pastry shop angrily and glared at the two men sitting on wooden benches across from him. “You _did not_ tell me they would be taking measurements.”

Kirishima brushed off the remark. “You want it to be personal, don’t you, Takaba-san? Not just any penis will do…”

Akihito’s face heated up at the answer and he turned his gaze away from Suoh and Kirishima. “Well, no…but…”

“No buts, get back in there and let them finish.

Akihito sighed breathlessly, as if he was going to his doom. “Fine, but if he asks about the likeness I’m telling him you two brought me here to get _it_ measured.”

When Akihito disappeared back into the room, Suoh turned to Kirishima and asked, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Asami-sama won’t take kindly to what’s happening in there.”

“Things will work, don’t worry.”

Suoh trusted Kirishima’s words inexplicably, so he dropped the subject.

A moment later, Kirishima’s phone rang and he answered it. “Hai, Asami-sama…yes, we are keeping a close eye on him, right now he’s in a pastry shop. Hai.”

When Kirishima hung back up, Akihito’s yelp could be heard from inside the room.

*******VF*******

“Thank you for coming.”

Akihito watched as Asami showed some of his guests out of the high class Sion. For the night, they went with a dark, elegant theme for Asami’s birthday and Akihito had to come because Asami wouldn’t settle for less. Asami even bought him an expensive suit and he mocked him for his thoughtfulness. They didn’t spend too much time together though, because Asami was busy with his guests. He stood close by and watched as the man shook the hand of some of his many company who exited merrily.

“I guess that was a hit,” Akihito smiled when the last man exited. Now, only auxiliary staff and security was left. He could make out from the corner of his vision, the four tier, untouched black forest cake being taken away. He watched as Asami loosened the tie around his neck slightly before looking at him.

“Did you enjoy it?”

Akihito shrugged. “Wasn’t really my thing but it wasn’t so bad.”

Asami nodded. “You didn’t have cake.”

“Neither did you.”

“I don’t like it, but you do.”

They started walking towards the elevator together. “Guess I’m saving that part of my stomach for something else.”

Asami smirked before pushing the bottom for the top floor of the building.

When the elevator stopped and the door opened, Akihito had to compose himself because that kiss was damn hot. He spent the entire ride with Asami’s tongue stuck down his throat and the man’s hands all over him and to be honest, he was ready to go. They started walking down the hallway to Asami’s door and halfway there, the man grabbed him by the collar, pinned him against the wall and sucked on his tongue greedily while his larger body (and obvious hard-on) pressed into him. He wrapped his hands firmly around Asami’s neck and held him there until he remembered what he had planned and reluctantly push the man back. “Let’s go inside.”

Asami stared at him before walking towards the door and Akihito followed close behind. When Asami punched in the code, he was allowed in first and he waited. He didn’t want to miss the look on Asami’s face when he saw what he got.

They left their shoes by the door and When Asami entered the living room he paused, obviously surprised and a little puzzled at what awaited on the wooden table in the room.

“It’s a…?”

“Cake?” Akihito supplied with a grin. He helped the man out of his jacket.

Asami nodded, eyes narrowing. “Why is it shaped like a penis?”

Akihito put Asami’s jacket over the back of the closest chair while doing the same to his own. “Well, you like to eat mine but not cake so I thought this might be a good way to get you to eat some sweets for your special day.”

“Huh,” Asami chuckled.

Akihito watched Asami closely, watched his expression as he cautiously approached the 10” cake covered in brown frosting, with pseudo sperm spurting out of the tip in white frosting.  Asami peered at the thing, taking in the single stiff-cock shaped piece that stood upright in the middle with a single candle stuck in where the slit should be. He grinned when Asami’s eyes widened in realization, took up the camera he had sitting close by and snapped a picture.

Asami wheeled around to glare at him. “Why the hell are you taking pictures?” Then he pointed at the erect piece of the cake. Is that…?”

Akihito hid the camera behind his back before answering. “For memories, and yes, it’s an exact replica. Happy Birthday?”

Asami’s eyes and expression darkened dramatically and Akihito was quick to explain. “I didn’t allow a man to touch it, it was a really pretty girl called Lucy and she wasn’t into me but she was really nice…and stuff…”

Akihito shrugged helplessly.

Asami raised an eyebrow in question, advancing predatorily on his lover. “So how did you get it up?”

Akihito backed away, gulping. “She told me to think of somebody sexy, who can fuck good, who I’d like to fuck and _it_ became hard instantly.”

Asami paused, looking a little unnerved. He cleared his throat before asking. “So, who did you think about?”

Akihito glowered. “Who else but you, Bastard!”

Akihito yelped when Asami grabbed him before pulling him into a deep, soulful kiss. He found the few seconds it took to put the camera down in the chair beside him gently before he started reciprocating each kiss and touch. Asami fumbled with the belt and zipper of his pants while walking backwards to the couch, then falling on top of it, pulling them both down. Akihito ended up straddling Asami’s lap while they kept kissing and undressing hurriedly.

“Wait, waitwaitwait,” Akihito muttered while trying to pull back from the kiss. Asami didn’t want to stop but he managed to wriggle a few inches away. “Wait, stop.”

Asami gripped his arm firmly and asked in a peeved tone. “Where are you going?”

“Hold on,” Akihito gritted out before pulling his arm away and going to get the cake. He brought it to the centre-piece before them before sitting beside a put out Asami happily. He lit the one candle at the top and instructed his lover. “Now, blow out the candle and make a wish.”

Asami sighed forlornly, drew in a deep breath and blew.

Akihito managed to snap the moment without the man realizing.

Asami looked back at his lover, startled. “Did you just take a picture…?”

Akihito tried to hide the camera behind him while fighting Asami off, who wanted to take it and found himself quickly losing the battle. He managed to shove the man back before deciding on a different course of action; reasoning. “Look, I know you really hate taking pictures but this is important to me, a precious memory and I really want to keep it for posterity in case…you know?”

Asami took in Akihito’s words. “Really? So you don’t only want it as blackmail material?”

Akihito had the grace to blush. “No, bastard. Not only as blackmail material.”

“Mmm, fine.”

Asami leaned in for a kiss, noted the exact moment when Akihito shifted to the side slightly, but was not expecting the cake and icing smeared across his lips.

Akihito busted out in a side splitting laugh before managing to steal another picture at Asami’s expense.

Asami growled. “You’re going to pay for that.”

Akihito watched as Asami dug his fingers into a piece of the cake, broke it off and rubbed it all over his mouth, grinning like he knows Asami should on such a special day. He laughed even more before Asami chuckled, smiled and then leaned in for a kiss. It felt good, the evening felt wonderful with just the two of them and Akihito felt so grateful for it all and for Asami. The man might be a bastard, but he’s his bastard celebrating his birthday and he took pleasure in that.

The cake smeared between them as they kissed deep and hard. Asami’s fingers were still covered in crumbs and icing and he rubbed it over one of Akihito’s nipples before licking it right off, hot tongue snaking over hot flesh, pebbling so he could suck more firmly on them.

“Oh God…” Akihito moaned, arching his back for more.

“Cake tastes better on you,” Asami breathed hotly, feeling Akihito up while he rained kisses and licks all over, downward, then until he could run his cake hand over Akihito’s hard cock and then lick it off.

Akihito’s back arched, his voice rose and his legs widened. Asami found a snug fit, comfortable enough to suck his lover off without discomfort or cramps. He reached over for the small erect penis part of the cake and compared it to the real thing, smirking evilly. “Such a perfect doppelganger, I can even see the vein in the cake.”

Akihito hissed, eyes clouded with lust. “Why don’t you eat it?”

“Gladly.” Asami held the piece of cake in the palm of his hand before holding Akihito’s length with it and mashing the pastry against the throbbing flesh, then he sucked hard on the cake covered cock of his lover, ignoring the displeasure of too much of the wrong type of sweet for the more pleasurable flesh of desire he was privy to.

“Mmm, yes…Asami,” Akihito hissed, body writhing in whet ecstasy as Asami sucked hard and fast. He gripped the side of the couch, the back, Asami’s hair for purchase before bringing his lover’s cake hand to his mouth. He watched Asami suck him while he sucked each digit of the pastry, slow and wet as each finger glided over his tongue in tandem with Asami’s movements sometimes. Asami couldn’t tear his eyes away from him either way and Akihito made a show of it. His orgasm build to insurmountable levels and when his body tightened and he came, Asami swallowed it all before coming up for a piercing kiss once again, allowing him to taste himself mixed with cake on his lips.

“Sweeter than cake,” Asami muttered after pulling back to lick his lips.

Akihito laughed. “Now that’s how you eat cake when you hate it.”

Asami smiled and Akihito pushed the man back to sit before climbing down to kneel between his legs.

With his legs open, Asami had one hand flat against his abs and the other in Akihito’s hair, carding through the soft strands while watching his lover’s lips enclose his engorged cock and suck, up and down, round and round, a little teeth, a nip and then repeat. The sight of Akihito worshipping his cock with his mouth always prevented the forestalling of his orgasm, because the sight of a debauched Akihito going down on him was too hot for words. It didn’t take too long before he was experiencing nirvana, and he realized a moment later Akihito wasn’t able to swallow it all. He pulled his lover up for another kiss.

Snuggling up to Asami, Akihito mouthed the words, “Happy Birthday, Bastard.”

Asami hugged his lover tightly, kissed him on the crown and reciprocated. “Now it is.”


End file.
